❤️I WAITED 👑🔖

At the end of it all, when life finally slows down enough for reflection, I want it to be said, clearly and without explanation, that I waited.
Not that I rushed.
Not that I forced doors open.
Not that I settled because time was moving and pressure was loud.
But that I waited.
I waited for the money.
I waited for the marriage.
I waited for the car.
I waited for the house.
I waited for the peace.
I waited faithfully.
Waiting is not passive. It is not empty. It is not lazy. Waiting is loud on the inside. It is full of questions, calculations, prayers, tears, hope, disappointment, courage, and restraint. Waiting is choosing obedience when shortcuts are available. Waiting is trusting God when logic is impatient and fear is convincing.


There are days I am clapping while I wait. I am genuinely celebrating others; weddings, keys handed over, cars purchased, milestones announced. I show up. I smile. I applaud. Even when my heart quietly asks, “God, when will it be my turn?” I clap anyway. I refuse to let jealousy poison my spirit or comparison rob me of gratitude. I learn how to celebrate without resentment and how to bless without bitterness.
And then there are days I am wailing and waiting.
Days when the weight of responsibility feels heavier than faith. Days when prayers come out raw and unpolished. Days when I am tired of being strong, tired of believing without evidence, tired of trusting timing I don’t understand. I cry and I wait. I let the tears fall because faith doesn’t mean pretending everything is okay, it means staying even when it isn’t.
There are moments I am crawling.
Barely moving. Barely hopeful. Dragging myself forward with nothing but stubborn belief and whispered prayers. Crawling through financial pressure. Crawling through unanswered prayers. Crawling through loneliness. Crawling through disappointment. Crawling through seasons where effort doesn’t seem to equal reward.

And even there; low, exhausted, stretched thin ~ I am still waiting.


I ask God real questions.
I ask Him when it will be my turn.
I ask Him if He sees me.
If He remembers me.
If He knows how hard I’m trying.
Sometimes I even ask Him if He forgot about me.
And still ~ I wait.


I wait for money; not just to spend, but to steward. Not for excess, but for stability. For freedom. For provision that doesn’t come with panic. I wait to earn honestly, grow wisely, and build patiently. I refuse shortcuts that cost me my peace. I refuse wealth that demands compromise. I wait for provision that aligns with purpose.


I wait for marriage, not as a rescue, not as validation, not as proof that I am chosen, but as partnership. I refuse relationships where someone thinks they’re doing me a favor by choosing me. I wait for love that meets me with respect, safety, and intention. I wait for someone who doesn’t compete with my growth but celebrates it. I wait for something built, not borrowed.


I wait for the car, not just movement, but momentum. For progress that feels earned. For independence that doesn’t choke me with debt. I wait for the version that comes without anxiety attached. I wait because rushing would cost me more than patience ever will.


I wait for the house, not just walls, but rest. A place that feels like peace, not pressure. A space that holds laughter, healing, prayer, and growth. I refuse to force milestones just to prove I am not behind. I wait for the house that comes with stability, not stress.


But most of all, I wait for peace.
The kind of peace money can’t buy.
The kind marriage doesn’t guarantee.
The kind success doesn’t automatically bring.
The peace that settles your spirit even when life is still unfolding. The peace that tells you you’re not late, you’re aligned. The peace that allows you to sleep at night knowing you didn’t betray your values to arrive early.


Waiting teaches me restraint in a world addicted to shortcuts. It teaches me that not every opportunity is divine and not every open door is God. Waiting teaches me that preparation matters, that timing matters, that character matters.


I wait while people underestimate me.
While some write me off quietly.
While others accept me but don’t expect much from me.
While a few assume whatever comes my way is luck or pity instead of promise.
I don’t argue.
I don’t explain.
I don’t rush to prove.
I wait.


Because waiting is not absence, it is alignment. It is God shaping me into someone who can hold what I’m asking for without losing herself. Someone who won’t fumble the blessing because she skipped the process.
And when the day comes, when the money is steady, when the marriage is real, when the car is mine, when the house feels like home, when peace finally settles deeply, I don’t want the story to be about luck.


I want it to be said that I waited.
That I waited faithfully.
That I waited when it hurt.
That I waited when it felt unfair.
That I waited when giving up would have been easier.
That I clapped and waited.
That I wailed and waited.
That I cried and waited.
That I crawled and still waited.
That I trusted God when my hands were empty and my heart was tired.
And when He comes through because He will, I will know it wasn’t coincidence. It was obedience. It was patience. It was faith in motion.


I waited.
And He did not forget me.

The Promise Deserves The Process

There is a quiet truth life has been teaching me in layers, seasons, and sometimes through loss: once the process is compromised, the promise gets undervalued. It sounds simple, almost obvious, but living it is a different story. This realization didn’t come to me in theory, it came through lived experiences, missteps, impatience, and moments where I watched things I deeply desired slip away.

For a long time, I believed that wanting something badly was enough. That passion, intention, and prayer could substitute discipline, patience, and consistency. I thought if my heart was in the right place, the journey would somehow arrange itself. But life has a way of correcting what enthusiasm alone cannot sustain.
There were seasons when I was more in love with the outcome than with who I needed to become to sustain it. I admired the finish line, the title, the stability, the validation, the sense of arrival, without respecting the daily, often boring work that leads there. I wanted results that required roots I had not yet grown.
So I rushed. I skipped steps. I leaned on shortcuts dressed as “opportunities.” I convinced myself that speed meant favor. But when the results came too early or without depth, they felt fragile. They felt undeserved. They felt easy to lose.
Some seasons are meant to stretch us quietly. To build emotional muscle. To teach restraint, wisdom, and discernment. Yet I’ve had moments where I resisted those slow seasons. I pushed myself into spaces I admired without asking whether I was fully formed for them.
When pressure came, I cracked. When responsibility increased, I shrank. Not because I was incapable but because I had bypassed preparation. The process I tried to escape was the very thing meant to stabilize me.

Sometime this year, during one of my hardest moments, I called a very close friend and pastor because I felt overwhelmed and tired of carrying pain that didn’t seem to end. As we spoke, he said something that stayed with me: “Sharon, unless you pass this exam and graduate this class, God will not promote you.” I remember telling him how hard it felt, how confusing it was to understand God in that moment. I cried deeply not because I didn’t believe, but because I was exhausted. I wanted the pain to end. I wanted to move on without another lesson attached to it.


Looking back now, I understand what he meant. Some seasons are not meant to be escaped; they are meant to be completed. What feels like delay is often divine insistence on depth. What feels like repetition is refinement. And what feels like punishment is often preparation in disguise.
Not all shortcuts are visible. Some live inside us.

There were times I avoided doing the deeper emotional work;  healing, self-honesty, accountability, boundaries. I told myself I had “moved on” when I had only buried things. I rushed forgiveness without understanding. I embraced new beginnings without closing old chapters properly.
And later, the same patterns returned, just wearing different faces. The promise of peace, clarity, or wholeness felt postponed, not because it wasn’t meant for me, but because I hadn’t yet allowed the process to refine me enough to hold it.
I’ve always known I carry potential, skills, vision, capacity. But potential is only raw material. Without discipline, structure, and consistency, it remains unused or misused.
There were opportunities that came before I had fully cultivated my character or systems. And when they did, I struggled to maintain them. It wasn’t punishment. It was exposure; exposure of areas still under construction.
I’ve learned that gifts can open doors, but only preparation keeps them open.
One of the hardest things to sit with is this: sometimes what feels like loss is actually protection. Sometimes what feels like delay is correction. And sometimes what feels like “God taking something away” is really life revealing that the foundation wasn’t strong enough yet.

A promise mishandled hurts more than a promise delayed.

Because when it slips away, it carries disappointment, self-doubt, and grief. But it also carries a lesson, one that gently whispers: you’re still becoming.
With time, reflection, and grace, I’ve begun to see the process differently. Not as punishment. Not as resistance. But as preparation.
The process teaches patience where impatience once ruled.
It teaches discipline where excitement once led.
It teaches identity before achievement.
It teaches depth before display.
Now, I’m learning to slow down without guilt. To sit with the work. To grow roots before expecting fruit. To let my character catch up with my calling.
Today, I move with more intention. I no longer chase outcomes just to say I’ve arrived. I ask better questions:
Am I ready to sustain this?
Have I honored the becoming?
Am I willing to grow quietly before being seen?

I am learning that the process doesn’t delay the promise, it protects it. And when the time is right, what comes will not feel fragile or borrowed. It will feel earned, stewarded, and deeply aligned.

And so I close this chapter with a steadier heart, choosing to honour the long road instead of rushing to the finish line, trusting that every slow, quiet, disciplined step is shaping me into the woman who can finally hold her promise without fear of losing it again.

When Church Hurts… But Jesus Still Heals



Church hurt is real, and it leaves marks that few can see but many carry silently. It’s not dramatic or attention-seeking to acknowledge it. It’s honest. It’s brave. Because for many, the pain didn’t come from the world, it came from inside the very place they thought was safe. Maybe it was judgment when you needed understanding. Gossip when you asked for prayer. Or rejection when you finally built the courage to show up with your broken pieces, hoping someone would help you gather them back together.

That kind of pain cuts deep. It shakes the foundation. It can leave you wondering, If this is God’s people, what does that say about God?

And yet, Hebrews 10:25 encourages us: “Let us not give up the habit of meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

This isn’t a push to return to harmful places or to ignore trauma. It’s not an order to “just get over it” and sit back in the same pew. No. This is a tender, Spirit-breathed reminder that we were made for connection; for community that heals, not harms. For gatherings that build up, not tear down. It’s less about buildings and more about belonging.

Because the truth is: we are the Church. Not the programs, not the polished sermons, not the praise team. Us. The living, breathing body of Christ. Where you are, the Church is.

To the one who’s been hurt in church settings:

You are not crazy.

You are not overly sensitive.

You are not rebellious for walking away.

You are not weak for needing time to heal.


You are seen. You are still chosen. You are still called.

Paul reminds us in Ephesians 2:8-9: “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God not by works, so that no one can boast.”

That means none of us earned our spot in God’s family. Not by perfect behavior. Not by ministry involvement. Not by never missing a Sunday. We are here only because of grace. Every single one of us is a sinner saved by mercy. So how dare we boast? How dare we forget?

We must be so careful, careful not to cast people aside because their sin looks different from ours. Careful not to become gatekeepers of grace, forgetting that our own story is soaked in it. Sometimes, the loudest voices in church buildings shout hardest against sins they don’t understand, while whispering over the ones they themselves commit. But God sees through all of it.

Sin is sin. Period. And mercy is mercy. Thank God for that.

Jesus didn’t come for the already-clean. He came for the messy, the wounded, the lost, the addicted, the confused, the doubting, the angry, the tired. So if someone fell in public and we label them “too far gone,” we have forgotten how we ourselves were lifted up in private.

You don’t have to hide your pain to belong. You don’t have to be perfect to be loved. You don’t have to perform to be accepted.

Your identity in Christ is not “the wounded one.” You are:

A child of God (John 1:12)

A royal priesthood (1 Peter 2:9)

The righteousness of God in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21)

Forgiven, redeemed, and sealed by the Spirit (Ephesians 1:7,13)


No rejection can undo that. No church board. No leader’s words. No silence from a pulpit. No exclusion from a ministry team. None of it defines you. Jesus does.

And Jesus is still gentle. Still kind. Still healing the brokenhearted. Still welcoming the ones the crowd pushed away. Still whispering, “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

You are not too far gone. You are not disqualified. You are not second-class in the Kingdom.

Healing takes time. And it’s okay to go slow. It’s okay to unlearn. It’s okay to be cautious. But don’t let the failure of people distort the face of Jesus. Let Him reintroduce Himself to you outside of all the noise. He’s not waiting for you to “snap out of it.” He’s walking with you in it.

You still belong.
You are still part of the Church Jesus is building.
And nothing anyone did can take that away.

Your story matters. Your healing matters. And your voice especially now, is needed. The Church becomes healthier when we listen to the ones who’ve been bruised and believe them. We grow when we stop pretending and start loving like Christ.

So take your time, but don’t lose hope. Jesus is nothing like those who misrepresented Him.

You are loved. You are His. And you’re not alone.

🌻WALKS AND SEASONS OF LIFE🌻

Have you ever felt alone? No, not because you didn’t have people around you, people that claimed to want to love you forever, but because none was on the same page as you?I would say I had normalized such kind of a life. I’m not saying I have been lonely my whole life all I’m saying is that I have learned the true meaning of walks and seasons of life. I have listened to quotes like elevation requires separation. While all these seemed to give me hope I had to accept it all. The past couple of days have been hard in my life. Are you wondering if I was attacked or robbed? Yes,I was.


I was attacked by the future; There are days your thoughts will trip on the future and then the rest is never the same again. When I thought about the future it scared me, it made me loose my mind. The thought of a small Girl that felt like she was well aligned for the future she desired only to find out that she was wrong.I didn’t think there’d come a day I’d have to share this story I have kept writing in my head but always denied my pen the chance to bleed for me. Well at least my pen was the only friend that stood by me when I needed some rescue. In my life I have learned that times will come when everything makes it looks like a Sunday, when everybody is willing to tell you that they love you, yet you can’t pinpoint exactly what makes you sad. Times when you will wake up crying but you are the only person who can understand how it feels to accept that there is journey you’ll have to take alone sooner or later.
If I was writing a letter to the younger self I’d tell her how much I wish I’d go back to her and prepare, but No.
I’ll have to face this head on. I’ll be brave for once. If you have kept reading to get to see that place where I’ll mention what exactly scares me,I guess it’s this point.
Change is inevitable, I guess we all know. A decision to go through change is one of the biggest,but the bravery to admit that you’ll go through the change alone hasn’t been easy to master. Yes, that’s what I’m talking about. A Small Girl who has known men as preys, A girl who has always seen herself as a toy that any man is always interested to chase. A girl who has grown to hate all the men that tore her,all the men that stole away from her, a girl who ended up giving birth to a man. Now tell me, how easy does it get ? To grasp that I can choose to see him as a different man and train him up differently or I should soak up in my tears and give in to my fears?

A time has come where I’m the only person who can go through what I want. A time where I’ll have to take up this journey alone. I’m mastering the courage. I have been patient enough to learn how to be alone. This next step, People can only cheer, they can only psyche me up,above that; I’m the only person who can.
From here i will have to travel back in time, Visit all the areas I have been afraid to talk about. All the areas i couldn’t write a letter about. I have decided to move on with life as a happy girl, I’m ready to let off all the pieces of me that belong to the past. I’ll visit these areas and give back it’s pieces to make peace. I’m ready to be the change before I make the change. Are you asking how you can walk with me through this? Simple, just read; like I said in this journey nobody can travel with me; friends, family, squads they can only watch, read, cheer and psyche me up. As I set off, I have the desire of coming back to this moment. Wish me luck.