ARE YOU JUDGING GOD BY THIS CHAPTER?

A year!
Three hundred and sixty-five ordinary days.

It doesn’t sound like much until you look back and realize you’re no longer the person who stood at the beginning of it. A year ago, if someone had asked me what my life would look like today, I would have answered with confidence. Not because I knew. But because I thought I did.

Isn’t that how we all live?

We sketch timelines. We create five-year plans. We pray specific prayers and quietly expect God to answer them in the order we’ve arranged them. We call it wisdom. Sometimes, it’s simply the illusion of control.

Last year, I was asking questions I couldn’t answer. I had plans that weren’t unfolding, prayers that seemed suspended in silence, and dreams I couldn’t see taking shape. I thought I knew what needed to happen and when.

I didn’t. Then life happened. Doors closed. People left. Dreams delayed. Prayers seemed to echo back in silence. And somewhere between disappointment and waiting, I began wondering whether God was still writing my story or whether I had somehow been forgotten.

Looking back now, I realize something that could only have been learned in hindsight: God was never absent. He was simply working where I couldn’t see.

And that’s the beautiful thing about God. His wisdom begins where ours ends. We spend so much of life trying to connect the dots while God is busy creating a picture we could never have imagined. We write schedules; He writes stories. We make plans; He orchestrates purpose.

We want God to explain Himself while He’s asking us to trust Him. We want details – He gives direction.
We want certainty – He gives His presence.
We want the destination – He teaches us to walk.

I’ve learned that heaven is never in a hurry, even when our hearts are. God has never been intimidated by my deadlines. He has never looked at my calendar and thought, “I need to catch up.” Because He isn’t operating within my understanding of time. He exists beyond it!

Somehow, in His perfect wisdom, He knows exactly when to withhold, when to prepare, when to prune, and when to finally place something beautiful into our hands. Not because He’s trying to test our patience. But because He loves us too much to give us something before we’ve become the person who can carry it well. Sometimes He allows us to sit in seasons that feel empty, not because He has forgotten us, but because He is preparing us for something we could never prepare ourselves for.

Looking back, I realize something profound: God knows exactly how to wipe tears. Not by pretending they never existed. Not by rushing our healing. But by redeeming the very places that once held our deepest pain. He doesn’t waste heartbreak. He doesn’t discard seasons of waiting.

He gathers every unanswered prayer, every lonely night, every disappointment, and somehow weaves them into a story that makes you whisper,

“Now I understand why You asked me to wait.”

Maybe not every question receives an answer. But somehow, His faithfulness answers enough. I’ve also learned that God has a way of building in front of the same audience that watched you break. Not to prove a point. Not to embarrass anyone. Not because He’s interested in proving your worth. But because He’s interested in revealing His glory. The rebuilding isn’t about revenge.

It’s about redemption. The same God who allowed the breaking is the One who lovingly rebuilds. And when He restores, He doesn’t simply replace what was lost, He creates something deeper, stronger, wiser, and far more beautiful than what you imagined. He never wastes what He permits.

One year can teach you that So Much Can Happen in One Year

One year can introduce people you never expected to meet.

One year can heal wounds you thought would stay open forever.

One year can soften places in your heart that bitterness almost claimed.

One year can completely change the way you see God.

If this past year has taught me anything, it’s this: We spend so much energy asking God to reveal the entire blueprint, while He simply asks us to trust the Architect. Our plans are limited by what we know. His plans are shaped by what He knows. And there is an immeasurable difference between the two.

The older I grow, the less interested I become in asking God to fit inside my plans. Instead, I find myself praying,

“Lord, give me the grace to fit inside Yours.”

Because His wisdom truly begins where mine ends. His perspective reaches generations while mine barely reaches tomorrow. While we’re calculating timelines, He is aligning purpose.

While we’re grieving closed doors, He is preparing doors we don’t even know exist.

While we’re wondering whether He’s listening, He’s already answering in ways we’ll only understand later. His “not yet” has protected me more times than I’ll probably ever know.

So today, I’m simply grateful. Not because life has been perfect. Not because every prayer has been answered. But because I’ve seen enough of God’s character to trust Him with the prayers that remain.

I think one of the greatest lessons in life is this: Don’t judge God’s work by the chapter you’re currently reading.

Sometimes everything changes before you even realize a new chapter has begun. If you’re in a season where nothing seems to be happening, don’t rush it.
Don’t mistake silence for absence. Seeds spend a long time hidden before anyone calls them a harvest. Trust the hidden work. Trust the waiting. Trust the God who has never once confused delay with denial.

One day, you’ll look back and realize that while you were counting the days, God was writing a story that could only have been written by Him.

And you’ll smile.

Because you’ll finally understand…

So much can happen in one year.

Behold, a New Thing!

There’s something I’ve noticed about God, and if I’m being honest, it’s not always the easiest thing to accept. When He wants to truly use a man, He doesn’t just grow him quietly behind the scenes. He allows him to be broken and sometimes, that breaking happens in front of people. Not in hiding, not in secret, but right there where it can be seen. The kind of breaking that humbles you, that strips you, that makes you question everything you thought you had together. And suddenly, you’re not the strong one anymore. You’re the one people are watching, trying to figure out, maybe even talking about.

The truth is, we all love the idea of purpose. We love saying, “God use me.” But we don’t always understand what that really comes with. Because sometimes, being used by God means being undone first. It means losing the version of yourself you were so confident in. It means your plans not working out, your image being shaken, your control slipping through your fingers. And it’s uncomfortable, especially when it feels like it’s happening in real time and people can see it. But God is not careless with His process. If He allows people to witness your breaking, it’s because He also intends for them to witness your becoming.

That’s the part that shifts everything. God doesn’t waste an audience. The same people who saw you in your lowest moments will one day look at you and not even recognize the strength, the grace, the depth you now carry. Not because you fixed yourself, but because God rebuilt you. And when He builds, He doesn’t patch things up ~ He transforms. “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time” 1 Peter 5:6.

And then there’s restoration. Scripture says, “And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten…” Joel 2:25). Not just days. Not just moments. Years. Time you thought was wasted. Seasons you thought were gone forever. And we often hear that and immediately think about material things: money, opportunities, lost possessions. But God’s restoration is far deeper than that. He doesn’t just restore what you can count, He restores what you feel, what you carry, what you once believed in. He restores dreams you quietly buried. He restores confidence you lost along the way. He restores identity, direction, clarity… the parts of you that life tried to erode over time.

Look at Job. A man who didn’t suffer in silence, but in full view. A man who lost everything that could be measured: his wealth, his health, his status and even that which could not be replaced easily, his children. His pain was not hidden, and neither was the questioning around it. People observed, debated, and tried to make sense of what he was going through. But in the end, God restored him in a way that went beyond human logic. “So the Lord blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning” Job 42:12). Job’s story isn’t just about replacement it’s about depth. It’s about a kind of restoration that heals the soul, not just the situation. A kind that allows a man to live again, to build again, to hope again after devastation that should have ended him.

And that’s the kind of God we serve. One who doesn’t just patch wounds but truly heals them. One who can take a life that has been shattered and still make it whole in a way that carries peace, joy, and stability. Restoration with God is not always about giving you back exactly what you lost in the same form, it’s about giving you something that can hold the weight of who you are becoming.

But here’s where many of us get stuck. We become so attached to what we had that we fail to recognize what God is doing now. We keep looking back at former days, comparing, reminiscing, measuring everything against the past. And in doing that, we miss the present move of God. It’s not that restoration isn’t happening, it’s that our eyes are fixed on a version of life God has already moved beyond. There’s a reason He says, “Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing…” Isaiah 43:18–19. Not because the former things didn’t matter, but because they are not the standard for what He is doing next.

God is intentional when He says He is doing a new thing. New means it won’t look like what you’re used to. It won’t always feel familiar. It may not come in the packaging you expected. But it will carry purpose. It will carry alignment. It will carry fulfillment in ways that the past couldn’t sustain. “If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new” 2 Corinthians 5:17.

There’s a kind of faith required in that place the faith to let go without having full clarity of what’s ahead. The faith to trust that God is not trying to take from you, but to elevate you beyond what you once knew. The faith to believe that even the dreams you thought died are not beyond His reach. Because God doesn’t just restore situations, He restores vision. He breathes life back into ideas, callings, and desires you once carried but had to set aside due to circumstances.

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” Romans 8:28. Even the breaking. Even the public moments. Even the parts you wish never happened.

So when God breaks a man, it is not the end of him. It is the beginning of a process that leads to something stronger, something deeper, something more rooted in truth than appearance. And when He restores, He doesn’t just bring things back. He rebuilds lives in a way that carries evidence of His hand. “And after you have suffered a little while, [He] will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast” 1 Peter 5:10.

In the end, what people witnessed in your breaking becomes part of the testimony they cannot ignore in your rebuilding. And what once looked like loss becomes the very ground where God proves His faithfulness. Because with Him, nothing is truly wasted, and no season is without purpose.

And maybe, just maybe, the version of you that emerges after the breaking will not only carry restoration but will also carry a quiet confidence that says:

God didn’t just bring me back.

He made all things new.

❤️I WAITED 👑🔖

At the end of it all, when life finally slows down enough for reflection, I want it to be said, clearly and without explanation, that I waited.
Not that I rushed.
Not that I forced doors open.
Not that I settled because time was moving and pressure was loud.
But that I waited.
I waited for the money.
I waited for the marriage.
I waited for the car.
I waited for the house.
I waited for the peace.
I waited faithfully.
Waiting is not passive. It is not empty. It is not lazy. Waiting is loud on the inside. It is full of questions, calculations, prayers, tears, hope, disappointment, courage, and restraint. Waiting is choosing obedience when shortcuts are available. Waiting is trusting God when logic is impatient and fear is convincing.


There are days I am clapping while I wait. I am genuinely celebrating others; weddings, keys handed over, cars purchased, milestones announced. I show up. I smile. I applaud. Even when my heart quietly asks, “God, when will it be my turn?” I clap anyway. I refuse to let jealousy poison my spirit or comparison rob me of gratitude. I learn how to celebrate without resentment and how to bless without bitterness.
And then there are days I am wailing and waiting.
Days when the weight of responsibility feels heavier than faith. Days when prayers come out raw and unpolished. Days when I am tired of being strong, tired of believing without evidence, tired of trusting timing I don’t understand. I cry and I wait. I let the tears fall because faith doesn’t mean pretending everything is okay, it means staying even when it isn’t.
There are moments I am crawling.
Barely moving. Barely hopeful. Dragging myself forward with nothing but stubborn belief and whispered prayers. Crawling through financial pressure. Crawling through unanswered prayers. Crawling through loneliness. Crawling through disappointment. Crawling through seasons where effort doesn’t seem to equal reward.

And even there; low, exhausted, stretched thin ~ I am still waiting.


I ask God real questions.
I ask Him when it will be my turn.
I ask Him if He sees me.
If He remembers me.
If He knows how hard I’m trying.
Sometimes I even ask Him if He forgot about me.
And still ~ I wait.


I wait for money; not just to spend, but to steward. Not for excess, but for stability. For freedom. For provision that doesn’t come with panic. I wait to earn honestly, grow wisely, and build patiently. I refuse shortcuts that cost me my peace. I refuse wealth that demands compromise. I wait for provision that aligns with purpose.


I wait for marriage, not as a rescue, not as validation, not as proof that I am chosen, but as partnership. I refuse relationships where someone thinks they’re doing me a favor by choosing me. I wait for love that meets me with respect, safety, and intention. I wait for someone who doesn’t compete with my growth but celebrates it. I wait for something built, not borrowed.


I wait for the car, not just movement, but momentum. For progress that feels earned. For independence that doesn’t choke me with debt. I wait for the version that comes without anxiety attached. I wait because rushing would cost me more than patience ever will.


I wait for the house, not just walls, but rest. A place that feels like peace, not pressure. A space that holds laughter, healing, prayer, and growth. I refuse to force milestones just to prove I am not behind. I wait for the house that comes with stability, not stress.


But most of all, I wait for peace.
The kind of peace money can’t buy.
The kind marriage doesn’t guarantee.
The kind success doesn’t automatically bring.
The peace that settles your spirit even when life is still unfolding. The peace that tells you you’re not late, you’re aligned. The peace that allows you to sleep at night knowing you didn’t betray your values to arrive early.


Waiting teaches me restraint in a world addicted to shortcuts. It teaches me that not every opportunity is divine and not every open door is God. Waiting teaches me that preparation matters, that timing matters, that character matters.


I wait while people underestimate me.
While some write me off quietly.
While others accept me but don’t expect much from me.
While a few assume whatever comes my way is luck or pity instead of promise.
I don’t argue.
I don’t explain.
I don’t rush to prove.
I wait.


Because waiting is not absence, it is alignment. It is God shaping me into someone who can hold what I’m asking for without losing herself. Someone who won’t fumble the blessing because she skipped the process.
And when the day comes, when the money is steady, when the marriage is real, when the car is mine, when the house feels like home, when peace finally settles deeply, I don’t want the story to be about luck.


I want it to be said that I waited.
That I waited faithfully.
That I waited when it hurt.
That I waited when it felt unfair.
That I waited when giving up would have been easier.
That I clapped and waited.
That I wailed and waited.
That I cried and waited.
That I crawled and still waited.
That I trusted God when my hands were empty and my heart was tired.
And when He comes through because He will, I will know it wasn’t coincidence. It was obedience. It was patience. It was faith in motion.


I waited.
And He did not forget me.

The Promise Deserves The Process

There is a quiet truth life has been teaching me in layers, seasons, and sometimes through loss: once the process is compromised, the promise gets undervalued. It sounds simple, almost obvious, but living it is a different story. This realization didn’t come to me in theory, it came through lived experiences, missteps, impatience, and moments where I watched things I deeply desired slip away.

For a long time, I believed that wanting something badly was enough. That passion, intention, and prayer could substitute discipline, patience, and consistency. I thought if my heart was in the right place, the journey would somehow arrange itself. But life has a way of correcting what enthusiasm alone cannot sustain.
There were seasons when I was more in love with the outcome than with who I needed to become to sustain it. I admired the finish line, the title, the stability, the validation, the sense of arrival, without respecting the daily, often boring work that leads there. I wanted results that required roots I had not yet grown.
So I rushed. I skipped steps. I leaned on shortcuts dressed as “opportunities.” I convinced myself that speed meant favor. But when the results came too early or without depth, they felt fragile. They felt undeserved. They felt easy to lose.
Some seasons are meant to stretch us quietly. To build emotional muscle. To teach restraint, wisdom, and discernment. Yet I’ve had moments where I resisted those slow seasons. I pushed myself into spaces I admired without asking whether I was fully formed for them.
When pressure came, I cracked. When responsibility increased, I shrank. Not because I was incapable but because I had bypassed preparation. The process I tried to escape was the very thing meant to stabilize me.

Sometime this year, during one of my hardest moments, I called a very close friend and pastor because I felt overwhelmed and tired of carrying pain that didn’t seem to end. As we spoke, he said something that stayed with me: “Sharon, unless you pass this exam and graduate this class, God will not promote you.” I remember telling him how hard it felt, how confusing it was to understand God in that moment. I cried deeply not because I didn’t believe, but because I was exhausted. I wanted the pain to end. I wanted to move on without another lesson attached to it.


Looking back now, I understand what he meant. Some seasons are not meant to be escaped; they are meant to be completed. What feels like delay is often divine insistence on depth. What feels like repetition is refinement. And what feels like punishment is often preparation in disguise.
Not all shortcuts are visible. Some live inside us.

There were times I avoided doing the deeper emotional work;  healing, self-honesty, accountability, boundaries. I told myself I had “moved on” when I had only buried things. I rushed forgiveness without understanding. I embraced new beginnings without closing old chapters properly.
And later, the same patterns returned, just wearing different faces. The promise of peace, clarity, or wholeness felt postponed, not because it wasn’t meant for me, but because I hadn’t yet allowed the process to refine me enough to hold it.
I’ve always known I carry potential, skills, vision, capacity. But potential is only raw material. Without discipline, structure, and consistency, it remains unused or misused.
There were opportunities that came before I had fully cultivated my character or systems. And when they did, I struggled to maintain them. It wasn’t punishment. It was exposure; exposure of areas still under construction.
I’ve learned that gifts can open doors, but only preparation keeps them open.
One of the hardest things to sit with is this: sometimes what feels like loss is actually protection. Sometimes what feels like delay is correction. And sometimes what feels like “God taking something away” is really life revealing that the foundation wasn’t strong enough yet.

A promise mishandled hurts more than a promise delayed.

Because when it slips away, it carries disappointment, self-doubt, and grief. But it also carries a lesson, one that gently whispers: you’re still becoming.
With time, reflection, and grace, I’ve begun to see the process differently. Not as punishment. Not as resistance. But as preparation.
The process teaches patience where impatience once ruled.
It teaches discipline where excitement once led.
It teaches identity before achievement.
It teaches depth before display.
Now, I’m learning to slow down without guilt. To sit with the work. To grow roots before expecting fruit. To let my character catch up with my calling.
Today, I move with more intention. I no longer chase outcomes just to say I’ve arrived. I ask better questions:
Am I ready to sustain this?
Have I honored the becoming?
Am I willing to grow quietly before being seen?

I am learning that the process doesn’t delay the promise, it protects it. And when the time is right, what comes will not feel fragile or borrowed. It will feel earned, stewarded, and deeply aligned.

And so I close this chapter with a steadier heart, choosing to honour the long road instead of rushing to the finish line, trusting that every slow, quiet, disciplined step is shaping me into the woman who can finally hold her promise without fear of losing it again.

🌻WALKS AND SEASONS OF LIFE🌻

Have you ever felt alone? No, not because you didn’t have people around you, people that claimed to want to love you forever, but because none was on the same page as you?I would say I had normalized such kind of a life. I’m not saying I have been lonely my whole life all I’m saying is that I have learned the true meaning of walks and seasons of life. I have listened to quotes like elevation requires separation. While all these seemed to give me hope I had to accept it all. The past couple of days have been hard in my life. Are you wondering if I was attacked or robbed? Yes,I was.


I was attacked by the future; There are days your thoughts will trip on the future and then the rest is never the same again. When I thought about the future it scared me, it made me loose my mind. The thought of a small Girl that felt like she was well aligned for the future she desired only to find out that she was wrong.I didn’t think there’d come a day I’d have to share this story I have kept writing in my head but always denied my pen the chance to bleed for me. Well at least my pen was the only friend that stood by me when I needed some rescue. In my life I have learned that times will come when everything makes it looks like a Sunday, when everybody is willing to tell you that they love you, yet you can’t pinpoint exactly what makes you sad. Times when you will wake up crying but you are the only person who can understand how it feels to accept that there is journey you’ll have to take alone sooner or later.
If I was writing a letter to the younger self I’d tell her how much I wish I’d go back to her and prepare, but No.
I’ll have to face this head on. I’ll be brave for once. If you have kept reading to get to see that place where I’ll mention what exactly scares me,I guess it’s this point.
Change is inevitable, I guess we all know. A decision to go through change is one of the biggest,but the bravery to admit that you’ll go through the change alone hasn’t been easy to master. Yes, that’s what I’m talking about. A Small Girl who has known men as preys, A girl who has always seen herself as a toy that any man is always interested to chase. A girl who has grown to hate all the men that tore her,all the men that stole away from her, a girl who ended up giving birth to a man. Now tell me, how easy does it get ? To grasp that I can choose to see him as a different man and train him up differently or I should soak up in my tears and give in to my fears?

A time has come where I’m the only person who can go through what I want. A time where I’ll have to take up this journey alone. I’m mastering the courage. I have been patient enough to learn how to be alone. This next step, People can only cheer, they can only psyche me up,above that; I’m the only person who can.
From here i will have to travel back in time, Visit all the areas I have been afraid to talk about. All the areas i couldn’t write a letter about. I have decided to move on with life as a happy girl, I’m ready to let off all the pieces of me that belong to the past. I’ll visit these areas and give back it’s pieces to make peace. I’m ready to be the change before I make the change. Are you asking how you can walk with me through this? Simple, just read; like I said in this journey nobody can travel with me; friends, family, squads they can only watch, read, cheer and psyche me up. As I set off, I have the desire of coming back to this moment. Wish me luck.